


Fear

by SweetFanfics



Series: Halloween 2k14 Prompt Fills [4]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Nightmares, fear of the dark, references to murder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-31
Updated: 2014-10-31
Packaged: 2018-02-23 09:24:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 377
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2542583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SweetFanfics/pseuds/SweetFanfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After spending years in the dark, trapped inside his own mind, there’s nothing that scares Bucky more than the darkness.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fear

He’s never been scared of the dark.  _Never_. Bucky knows a lot of kids have a fear of the dark growing up but he’s never had it. At no point in his life has he  _ever_  been afraid of the dark. There’s been anything terrifying about it.

 

Until now.

 

After spending  _years_  in the dark, trapped inside his own mind, there’s nothing that scares Bucky more than the darkness. It’s not enough to know Steve is right next door. It’s not enough that they live in one of the busier parts of town, where the noise level reduces around 4am but it’s never completely silent. It’s not enough to  _know_  he’s safe when every looming shadows sends his pulse spiking.

 

It’s why he sleeps with the lights on. He hates it, hates the way the light presses against the back of his eyelids but Bucky would rather deal with that discomfort than deal with the dark. Better to try and sleep with golden light falling on him than shadows pulling him down the rabbit hole of his memories.

 

Maybe it would be more accurate to call them nightmares?

 

Bucky has few memories of his time with Hydra. There’s snippets and left over body memories that have him breaking out in a cold sweat. His shoulder joint throbs in phantom pain. Bucky grabs the cold metal, tightens his fingers as he recalls holding a gun to an unfamiliar face and pulling the trigger.

 

His fingers grab at the damp sheets. Bucky feels a drop of sweat slide down the side of his face. It’s like being hit by a train. Only worse because it’s inside his head. Memory after memory collide together - blood, guts, death caused by his hands. 

 

He rolls over on his back. He takes his time opening his eyes. Its an ugly yellow color thanks to the light pouring out of the lamp. Reminds him of another memory. Sending a bullet through the skull of some politician somewhere, causing a splatter of blood to fall on their yellow sash. 

 

No. Bucky shakes his head and exhales. If only he lived in a world where  _no_ darkness existed. Then he’d be able to sleep for a while. Maybe. If he wasn’t plagued by so many nightmares. 


End file.
